Healing the Father Wound

As the self proclaimed Queen of Daddy Issues, I have plenty of experience here to share. In part because I have not one, but two dads (maybe even three if you count my very masculine energy mother as a kind of father figure). And I had strained relationships with each of them having grown up in an environment where I consistently felt unsafe and unloved. Symptoms of the father wound include low self esteem, low self worth, perfectionism, distrust of others, chronic anxiety, chronic depression, and dysfunctional relationships/insecure attachment all of which I've now healed within me through deep inner work. And the cool thing is that through this journey I've completed, I transformed two out of those three relationships to be mutually loving and enriching and the third is well on its way. Most importantly, my relationship to myself is the strongest, most caring and encouraging its ever been — independent of whatever is going on in my life / relationships. The key to these positive developments was PSYCH-K®, curiosity, and a willingness to do the work. More specifically, here's what helped:


How Can I Heal My Father Wound?

PSYCH-K® was key to healing the hole in my heart that I felt as a result of the father wound and all the hurtful beliefs and behaviors that it yielded. The following balances transformed my reality:

  • Relationship Balance — I balanced both my relationship to myself and the relationship to my dads. I have found it helpful in creating a state of peace internally about the balanced relationships, even as conflict may still continue to arise between the balanced parties
  • Messages Protocol — I do this protocol whenever I feel triggered to see what the message the feeling, situation, and/or condition has for me. It helps me see the forest through the trees and quickly integrate whatever I need to
  • Transformation of Perception of Stress — I did this for all the core painful memories I had between me and my dads. This process enabled me to feel at peace with what happened and forgiveness. It almost creates a kind of emotional amnesia where the memory of the event remains but all of the emotional charge behind it is gone
  • Individual Balances — These are new subconscious programs I installed to support the creation of my desired experience/reality. The process to integrate them included the New Direction BalanceResolution Balance, and/or Energy Focusing. A number of them were:
    • I am capable and confident
    • I feel worthy of being chosen and priotized
    • I feel worthy of protection and provision
    • I feel a deep sense of safety within myself and within the world
    • I belong
    • I forgive my dads
    • I trust men and think positively about them
    • I am feel / am chosen
    • I always feel secure in myself and in life
    • I am important, I matter, and I am valuable to the universe   — especially useful if you were an "accident" or "surprise"
    • I positively impact people  — especially helpful if you experienced any messaging around you being a "burden" or "source of suffering"
    • I still feel safe and loved even when others are upset
    • It is safe for me to ask for / receive help 
    • It is safe for me to be seen and to take up space
    • It is safe for me to trust others
    • I always honor my own boundaries and share my thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs
    • I always feel safe to love and be loved
    • I accept and appreciate my dads
    • I respect my dads
    • etc.

When working with PSYCH-K®, it can be helpful to investigate secondary gains. Secondary gains are a benefit to remaining the same. For example, remaining angry at my dads may offer me a sense of safety that loving them may threaten. That belief made it difficult for me to release resentment toward them and to be vulnerable. So to counter balance that belief I balanced "I trust my dads and feel safe with them mentally, emotionally, and physically." The result of balancing it would be a willingness to connect, not just with my dads but also others, and deepen relationships. It's important to note that in my relationships with them, nothing objectively unsafe mentally, emotionally, or physically is happening with them presently so it was safe and appropriate for me to install that belief.

A word on Individual Balances: These are neither affirmations nor toxic positivity. Instead, they are statements we would like to be true and intentions that are set during the balancing process which facilitate a somatic experience and energetic shift. The transformation is sustained indefinitely post balance.


Action Steps to Heal the Father Wound

PSYCH-K® may not necessarily change the immediate circumstances, but it does help transform our feelings about them, the meaning we make out of them, and the outlook on what we can create beyond them. PSYCH-K® unlocks our potential and then our actions make that potential manifest. Strategies for creating your new reality will vary based on what you'd like to experience — we can sort it out together.


How to Bend Reality

PSYCH-K® doesn't directly change others' behaviors, but it can change our perception of those people. I used PSYCH-K® to change my perception of my dads (and men in general) as well as my expectations of them to be more positive and much to my surprise, they began to meet those positive beliefs and show up for me as I prefer. I don't believe this change in behavior is a coincidence... I cannot say for certain, but it seems that my new beliefs / expectations changed my unconscious behaviors in such a way that these men were afforded the opportunity to meet me energetically as I prefer and rose to the occasion. 

To explore how PSYCH-K® can help you create a life you love and relationships you enjoy, book a consultation.


Results of Healing the Father Wound

The biggest takeaway for me was finally feeling inherently safe and feeling worthy. As a result, I began living life from a place of already feeling whole and secure and so was able to create a much more joyful and fulfilling life. The key question is then: What would you do if wellbeing were always guaranteed and you had anything to prove to anyone (including yourself)?

Written by Emma Soleil

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